Simple 2500 Series Portable!! Vol. 9 The My Taxi

(tags game, PlayStation Portable)

On that Spring Equinox day (again), I was buying some PSP accessories like a charging stand (but no power cord) and another charge cable by USB (but no data link) at the store when I spotted a game for the PSP version of the Simple Series. It's called The My Taxi (Simple 2500 Series Portable!!! Vol. 9「ＴＨＥマイ・タクシー」 ULJS-00096) made by Tamsoft. I like taxi games, heck I remember playing that taxi game in GTA 3 for 100 customers, and Crazy Taxi on the Gamecube was crazy fun. There's just something about spatial games that appeals to me. Before buying though, I figured there had to be a game like this on the PS2. Indeed, there was two actually. Originally The Taxi (Simple 2000 Vol. 48「THE タクシー～運転手は君だ～」 SLPM-62483), there was a recent sequel The Taxi 2 (Series 2000 Vol. 109「THE タクシー２～運転手はやっぱり君だ！～」 SLPS-20478). I figure this is proof that the first game was fun enough, so I bought the PSP game at shop later in the day.

My advice to you: never play a Simple Series game after playing a platform's A-List game. After playing the godlike Daxter, this PS2-to-PSP port was a shock. I was expecting graphical prowess or even competence, but Simple Series game is barely passing. Pop up galore. Tekken backgrounds (background not rotating lock-step with foreground). In a game like this, visual clues are very important. I want to see buildings in the distance, so it will help build my mental map. In other spots AI on the cars are very dumb and cars bump each other without a care. I suspect I could crash into other cars without any damage to my car and without too much damage to my in-game reputation. There are no traffic lights and I can drive American on these Japanese streets. Ha.

However, gameplay itself isn't bad. In fact, it's downright fun. It is like any 3d driving game, except slower and less manuverable. The brake seems too strong, and acceleration isn't so great, but maybe I'll get better parts. Traffic doesn't get it the way too much. You can't drift your car at all, though. Turning is sometimes a hassle.

Customers tell you where they want to go, but I haven't lived in this city long enough, so I don't know the sights. Luckily, there are dynamic arrows ala Crazy Taxi that show me how to get there. I can't turn them off.

Ah, the load times. Loading the world map is the only seriously long one, at about 15 seconds, but during driving, there's no loading. Great. But there's loading between different areas. I thought I would get annoyed by the 10 second load, but actually, the only reason I would cross a boundary is if I had a customer telling me to go somewhere. The load time gives me time think about how to get there.

You can tell this is a port from a 4:3 system because of the borders during cut-scenes and menus. Also some close pop up happens where the 16:9 and 4:3 border areas are. Annoying but ignorable.

And the menus, why are the menus so idiotically designed? I don't want to watch the intro to the game every time I press Start. And why are not-yet unlocked parts already visible? It makes it hard to find the stuff that I do have.

There are some parts that are totally wacky. You get a money bonus that is many times the actual cab fare. Say for example you had a 2000 yen fare, then if you complete the mission then you could get +10000 yen. Who is paying that? Next, the physics here is so laughable. There are no jumps! If you fall off a ledge, there's no fall animation, you just magically appear at the bottom! And some missions are truly annoying. One is that you drive a customer but you are unable to turn left (you can turn right). Truly WTF. Pro-tip: put the car in reverse if you want to turn the forbidden way. I want to avoid any customers that make my taxi less manueverable, but you can't tell them apart until they enter. And the cosmetic customization of the car is pretty funny. I got a "orz" license plate and a king's crown.

I forgot to add these wacky things: this young customer (above) flagged down my taxi, then wanted me to drive to the pachinko parlor. Upon arrival, she hands me the 2000 yen cab fare and a 8000 yen tip/bonus. Okay, okay, customer perogative. Some grannys insist that you use your nitro because they want to feel the acceleration. Other people tell you to drive without using your stock of nitros. Come on, what is it to you? Another kind of mission is where you can't release your foot from the acceleration pedal. How do you stop? You could ram objects but that doesn't stop you completely.

I've already spent 6 hours on this game, and my taxi's performance is upgraded. I am making bank, up to 40000 yen a session. I don't think I want to restart Monster Hunter Portable since this more action-packed game is here. Hahah.

Speaking of spatial games, wouldn't it be great to have a 3d taxi game? Say you're a taxi "runner" for a space colony in low grav. No I'm not talking about idealistic futures like Star Trek. More like, like that Robert Heinlein 1957 short story "The Menace from Earth" (available free to read, look I am linking to something that is 50 years old). Open space would be a luxury in a space colony so things would be packed. You would be able to swing from pipes or fly. Imagine guiding people and packages around, through shortcuts between buildings. Would there even be buildings? I'm sure if a colony thrived through a couple of generations building codes would become chaotic. Would a taxi game in this environment be more playable with mouse and keyboard, or console pad, or even a flight joystick?